The Male Perspective on Sex: Part II

I posted this interview with a dad. A dad. NOT MY dad. There was some confusion over that last time and while my family's pretty liberal, this is not a conversation I would have with my own father. So anyway, this is the second of this series of interviews. I'm hoping for at least one more dad to interview, but we'll see. If you know a dad or ARE a dad that would be willing to be interviewed: please let me know.



What was sex like for you when your wife was pregnant?

My wife had a lot of nausea the first half of her pregnancy, so we didn't have a lot of sex. The routine aspect of sex while trying to conceive was something I disliked, believe it or not. It took away all the spontaneity, so it was nice to have it be more like it was before trying to conceive.


What things helped your sex life during pregnancy?

We got a little more adventurous with positions during pregnancy to get around the awkwardness as she grew. Some folks said doggy style works well, but we just found it ridiculous. Scissors style was easier for her, but her on top was best. We generally do her on top now.


Were there things throughout pregnancy/childbirth which took adjusting to? What were they and what helped in the adjustment?

The emotional swings of my wife were hard. If I wasn't in the mood, she'd take it pretty hard and it would only add to the feelings that she had about getting larger, not feeling attractive, etc.


Describe your experiences with sex immediately after your wife gave birth.

We took some time before having sex again. We are generally a low-sex couple (two to four times a month) but we went for a couple of months without any. We were both too exhausted and just didn't feel very sexy.


What advice could you offer dads about sex during pregnancy?

Remember that her emotions can be dialed way up, so being tender, caring and attentive is even more critical than ever. Tell her she's beautiful all the time. Also, her breasts (which have always been her most key erogenous zone) were tender so I had to change some of my nibble habits!

After birth?
My wife is much more likely to climax after her pregnancies. I think sex is generally more enjoyable for her because of this. The milk issue was tough though. She likes a lot of breast play (I do too!) And we had to pretty much shut that down for a year or so while nursing.


What advice could you offer moms about sex during pregnancy?

Not all guys are sex maniacs, so don't be insulted when we're not into it sometimes. Be ready to discover new and improved approaches to sex as the pregnancy goes on.

After birth?

For us, sex after pregnancy (now, years after) is much better than before, largely because she's more likely to climax. We didn't expect that at all, so it was a great outcome!